I see the world in dark colors. When I was younger those colors were really vibrant. I want to accomplish more but every year it becomes tougher and tougher. I’m always wondering if people are feeling like me and are they just putting on a happy face to fool everybody? I’d like to believe in people but time after time they’ve let me down. I don’t see a difference in what they’re doing and what I’m doing except they do their task with a crazy amount of enthusiasm. I’m a true believer that if you think of something you can manifest it. But what happens when your mind is too cluttered to even think straight? Just something I”m thinking about.
You strive so hard to make it and you know it’s tough. I’m always under the understanding that life is a fight and to be on top you have to through haymakers all the time. With whatever industry you are in there is always a fight to prove yourself and move up to the next secure level. But is there a next secure level? It seems to me you never stop trying to prove yourself because if you did, you become obsolete.
Who has all the answers? Not me. I’ve been looking online for some inspiration and was surprised to find out how many people have an “expert opinion”. My opinion they’re in the same boat as everyone else. Call me a pessimist but that’s my opinion.
Anyway my direction in music lately has been all over the place and it’s been hard to stay focus after not working on certain genres for a period of time. The new music I’ve been working which is more electronic in nature is more inspiring to me at this point then R&B, Hip-Hop and Pop.
Raining listening to all of the music I created last year. My first thoughts really ‘not half bad’. I have to figure away to release them. I don’t want to give it away but all the steaming music (spotify, pandora, beats) companies are trying to rape us musicians. Really 1000th of a penny for a stream. Who can live off this. It’s a shame I thought my music career would lead to bigger and better things. Now all I have is questions. Because the only people getting paid is these steaming services. How can you really get paid for what you love when it’s not lucrative anymore?
Shot a Video a video for one of the artist I work with Natural L.G. We did it while we were at a barbecue was my first and I had a good time. At least there was food. I took my time and a got a good portion of b-roll but the only thing is that we didn’t have any good looking females that showed up. So we had to plan another day to complete. I want to finish the editing fast so I don’t get backed up with other projects.
You have to have a strong will to crack the glass ceiling and get into the fraternity. If you try to play it cool then everyone from top to low tries to take advantage. So you have to act out of character so people take you serious. It’s a shame! SMH